I’m exhausted. I had strange dreams that students crashed a party I was throwing. I’ve had bridesemaid nightmares. I dreamt that Carrot Top gave us discount tickets because we were on our honeymoon. You wouldn’t believe how crazy my sleeping has been. The past two weeks have just been insane. But I had to get this down while it was fresh in my head.

A few months ago, Katie (future maid of honor) told us about this movie The Room. We watched a Youtube clip of this man entering a flower shop and picking up a bouquet of flowers at least a hundred times. (See video here. And it IS supposed to sound like that.) The creepo in the trenchcoat’s tonality of “Oh, Hi!”s was strange and hilarious. Unfortunately, this movie was unavailable for rental and purchase in the boonies of Middle Georgia. I waited and waited and waited. Then I couldn’t take it anymore and ordered it from Amazon.

The Room arrived last Monday. After a night of Mellow Mushroom and trivia on Tuesday, we came home and felt like we were in the right mood to watch it. It isn’t a movie. It is an experience. In the basic plotline, Johnny and Lisa are engaged. Lisa’s bored with the relationship and decides to cheat on Johnny with Johnny’s best friend Mark. That’s it. Subplots include Johnny’s “adopted” son Denny doing drugs and Johnny missing out on a big promotion. It’s all like watching a train wreck.

Written, directed, and starring Tommy Wiseau, The Room was never supposed to be a black comedy. This was supposed to be a drama. Unfortunately, the dialogue, plot, and character development is so ridiculous that it fails miserably…in a good way. Wiseau now claims that everything about this film was intentional, but we have NO idea where the 6 million dollars that went into this film actually went. Wiseau’s interviews on the DVD and online are definitely worth looking into, if only to fall in love with the completely bongo cans Wiseau. Seriously, I could listen to that man ramble for hours. His voice…the mysterious accent (he claims to be American)…the uncontrollable inflections… Pretty classic.

After two viewings in a two week span, I feel pretty confident in recommending this movie. At some point, I would love to throw a Room-inspired party, complete with cheese pizza and lots of drinks (even if Johnny wouldn’t approve of the drinks).

It’s taken me a week to get this down. I don’ t know what that says about me or the movie. I kept the DVD for nearly a week, wanting to get back to the extra features. That never happened either. I wonder if Grace isn’t a movie with much repeat viewing value, and that’s why it really felt like work to even get this down.

This is a movie that I came to on a mission. I remembered seeing the trailer 6 months or so ago, but I couldn’t figure out the movie. Finally, after asking around and googling combinations of “modernized” Rosemary’s Baby, I came up with Grace. Yes, I enjoyed myself watching it, but I wonder if my enjoyment was only because I’d gone through such lengths to find it.

In a lot of ways, I think that the trailer is better than the movie. The trailer plays up the suspense of the film and it makes it seem like a pretty scary ride. But it’s not. If I were to begin to categorize Grace, I’d be more likely to shelf it as a drama than horror. Yes, there are some gross out moments that made me squirm only because I’m freaked out by the idea of nursing, but those moments are few and far between. This movie also works to insert a lot of social commentary on issues like doctors vs. midwife, veganism vs. meat eating, overprotective parents, etc. These are the kind of things that I think lift it out of the horror genre into drama (not that a horror film can’t address social issues, but it normally wouldn’t try to tackle so many.)

This is a story about a woman who is pregnant. When her baby dies, she decides to carry it to full term and “give birth.” When she finally does “give birth,” she wills the baby back to life and names it Grace. Of course, we figure out pretty quickly that something’s not right with Grace when she wants to drink blood instead of milk. There is never any explanation provided, and I wish that we did have Grace’s strange dietary preference justified in a “it’s the devil’s baby” kind of way. Instead, we just have to roll with the punches and accept that this is the way it is and this is the way it’s going to be. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes a bit hard to swallow, with the extremes the mother ends up going to care for her baby.

Jordan Ladd is fantastic as the mother (I’ve loved her since Cabin Fever), and I really hope that this film’s success at Sundance can put her in more of these kinds of roles. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast remains mediocre at best. In particular, the receptionist at the midwife’s office is HORRIBLE. What can you expect from a low-budget independent film? Better! Seriously, the drama students I’m working with in New Play Development/ Scriptwriting would have been better actors in this movie than some of the people who were cast. It was disappointing.

So, what would I rate it? A pretty wishy washy 2.5 out of 5 stars. Is it worth a 5 dollar rental? Probably not, but if it’s on TV and you can watch it for free and keep yourself from puking, go for it.

The original Roger Corman’s Little Shop of Horrors is a favorite of mine. I really should invest in a nicer DVD of it. I’ve never seen the new revamped fancy musical with Rick Moranis, and don’t start to lecture me—I know I should! And I love campy musicals—some of you may or may not know that I am a die hard Rocky Horror fan. But seriously, the 1960 version is perfect as is. Not only do we have a young Jack Nicholson as a masochist who enjoys the dentist a little bit too much, but Dick Miller with a flower eating fetish! While most of you know Miller as the drunk tow truck guy in Gremlins, he is fabulous as a lead in Bucket of Blood, which Corman made the year before Shop. (I’ll have at least one Bucket of Blood night in October, so just make sure to harass me about it if you’re wanting a view… But I’m off track.)

Cable summary once again vague, I decided to watch The Ruins , a movie with some mysterious Mayan ruins (as if the title didn’t give it away). Ooooh spooky. I figured, who cares if it sounds lame. It is either that or Hellboy II, and I’ve never seen the first Hellboy. I have a headache, and I’ve got to watch something to keep me awake for Project Runway at 10.

No big namers here, except for Jena Malone. I can’t stand her. I think she’s hideous, and I’ve been irritated by her snooty characters since I saw Stepmom in the theatre 11 years ago. Don’t pull the Donnie Darko card here. She’s annoying in that one too. She remains snooty here, but surprisingly I had no complaints about her performance. In the male lead, we have Jonathan Tucker, who I fondly remember from the group of boys in Virgin Suicides. I always liked his face, and I wish he showed up in more stuff. Another guy, Shawn Ashmore, was Iceman in Xmen, but I barely recognized him.

Anyway, I made the right movie choice. Not only did I get psycho “I’m going to murder you at the drop of a hat” Mayans, but demon plants…that talk ala Seymour! These plants will kick your ass. They imitate cell phone rings, peoples’ voices, whatever you want. They don’t look half bad either as far as the animation goes. You have never been so creeped out by a bromeliad before. Now, before you dismiss the film as a cheesy monster flick, trust me that this is a movie about people in isolation who are going to do anything to survive. They have limited rations, injuries, and no cell phone signal. I would liken it to the way that 28 Days Later is a more complicated film than simply a zombie film. When people are put in screwed up situations, sometimes they start to do screwed up things. And I like that. It makes a movie seem more honest.