As promised in the second entry of rachelmarsom.com, I have compiled a list of my favorite Seinfeld Episodes. It wasn’t easy. I mean, there are 180 Seinfeld episodes! I feel like these 20 are representative of why I enjoy Seinfeld. First, I’ll start out with my absolute favorite top 5, then I’ll list the rest, since I don’t think I could really objectively rank that many. Enjoy! Look forward to hearing your thoughts on these.

Five Favorite Seinfeld Episodes.

1) The Fire (Season 5): Jerry does what every comedian has always dreamed of—heckle a heckler. Meanwhile, after arguing with a clown played by Jon Favreau, George proves to be the ultimate coward in the face of fire, trampling a bunch of children. This episode is so ridiculous every way you look at it. Don’t want to spoil all the plot points for you, but you definitely need to watch this one if you haven’t seen it.

2) The Merv Griffin Show (Season 9): Kramer starts his own gameshow, and what better guests than Jerry, George, and Elaine. George runs over a squirrel, and his girlfriend insists that they take the squirrel to the vet. (No worries, as the squirrel is saved with tiny instruments.) Jerry proves to be the ultimate creepo when he drugs and sedates his girlfriend to play with toys.

3) The Junior Mint (Season 4): Jerry can’t remember his girlfriend’s name, but he knows that her name rhymes with a part of female anatomy. Meanwhile, Elaine’s once-fat ex boyfriend undergoes major surgery, and Jerry and Kramer let a Junior Mint fall inside of the boyfriend. Serious, inside.

4) The Wig Master (Season 4): While George investigates the prostitution ring in his parking garage, Kramer becomes a pimp. Jerry is a little bit gay, drinking champagne coolies. Elaine cuts off her boyfriend’s hair when she realizes that he never planned on giving her the store discount on the little black dress she wanted.

5) The Slicer (Season 9): Who knew that a meat slicer could set up the plot of a whole episode? My favorite part of this one is the George/Kruger relationship. When George realizes that he had a fight with his boss many years earlier, he gets a photo photoshopped to remove himself from the background. Chaos ensues.

The Rest:

• Heart Attack (Season 2): A holistic healer turns George purple

• The Red Dot (Season 3): While this one might be a little preachy about alcohol usage, I like the red dot and cashmere obsession.

• The Pledge Drive (Season 6): Jerry’s grandmother is the highlight of the episode as she attempts to find Chemical Bank to straighten out her finances. IT BURNED.

• The Jimmy (Season 6): I’ve never met anyone who talked about himself in the third person, but this episode makes me want to. Jerry is also sexually assaulted in this episode. Pretty weird.

• Bizarro Jerry (Season 8): MAN HANDS!

• The Secret Code (Season 7): Side characters make this episode. Between hilarious goofballs like J. Peterman, his dying mother, forgetful Fred, Leapin’ Larry, and that poor injured fireman, there is hardly any time to focus on the main characters!

• The Little Kicks (Season 8): Elaine dancing is one of the strangest jokes in the whole show. I wish it had come earlier.

• The Ex-Girlfriend (Season 2): Jerry dates George’s ex girlfriend, Marlene. Marlene has a super Southern accent and is always calling and leaving strange messages on Jerry’s answering machine like, “Have you ever taken a bath in the dark?” and “Jerry, I just don’t know sometimes.”

• The Checks (Season 8): I wish I had a song that would move me to silence like “Witchy Woman” or “Desperado”.

• The Trip Part Two (Season 4): Clint Howard is a serial killer. He also thinks that Ann Landers sucks.

• Alternate Side (Season 3): My two favorite parts of this episode are “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” and Jerry telling the Rental Car lady that she doesn’t know how to take reservations

• Apology (Season 9): James Spader is super duper as a recovering alcoholic. Also, Puddy is a germaphobe, and Kramer installs a garbage disposal in his bath tub.

• Marine Biologist (Season 5): In George’s biggest heroic feat, he saves a beached whale.

• The Note (Season 3): Joe DiMaggio dunks his donuts!

• The Glasses (Season 5): Tom Towles has a hilarious cameo as the tough guy. Elaine gets rabies.